If you follow my blog you might have read the posting during which I chat about the things I do to protect my marriage.
One of the points I discuss in that blog is the practice I have committed to of limiting the times I am alone with a woman other than my wife. Recently, I have been challenged in this because my supervisors for both of my jobs are female. I have been laughed at, told that I won't be working if I can't be scheduled alone in the building with one woman and received a booklet full of strange looks.
First, I'm struggling with how one gracefully explains that out of respect for my wife I choose not to be alone with a single woman. (At work I am okay with being alone with a group of women.) Somehow every time I have said something it always comes out less graceful and put together then I imagined it would.
Secondly, these are the first times that I have ever been laughed at for my moral and faith based values. My first thoughts are "wow, painful" but recently I've been wondering what that says about my past values and the culture as a whole. Does one need to be laughed at or mocked by secular culture to have strong moral values? Does being laughed at by this culture mean that I actually have values beyond the basics of murder, etc? Clearly, not everyone commits to practices that protect his or her marriage like I have, but we also live in a time when divorce and infidelity are insanely high. Should I be proud of this laughter and criticism?
I have recently learned that I am going through a test of my commitments. I don't think that I will have to push back as much as I am now as often in the future, but I do think this is some sort of adjustment period for me. I was prepared to be different. I was prepared for it to be a struggle internally. I was prepared for the adjustment of having to pay more attention. However, I was not prepared for this commitment to become so public at work or for me to literally be laughed at.
I appreciate the challenge, God, and with You as my light I will follow.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Season of Preparation: Money Management
It's official, Nicole and I are dieing to have a baby! Seriously, little comments about "enjoy just being with each other" and "put it off as long as you can" will not help us. We are doomed for baby-dum soon. . .parenthood here we come!
However, recently we figure out that with my extra job stocking at A.C. Moore and continuing to be frugal we could get rid of a large chunk of our debt before baby comes. That idea got our hamsters running about the things we want to do before we have babies. Next thing you know, we were calling this a Season of Preparation with our money as well as our baby making.
Why do we want to have children so soon anyway?
First, we aren't as young as a lot of our friends were when they got married. Their life clock had more years on it for just hanging out. Our clock is already getting to 30yrs. I know that's pretty young, but it's already going to be a medical challenge for Nicole to have babies (see link above) and age will only make it harder.
More importantly, we want a large family. The thing is our definitions of "large" are a bit different. Nicole says four whereas large to me is in the 6 or 8 kid range. Take a deep breath ladies, I know I'm not the one having the babies! We have agreed to start with four and then reevaluate after. I'm feeling called to have many children to grow and train up for God and I know that Nicole is feeling the same way.
Our current plan:
1. We decided for budget reasons to take a less expensive honeymoon and instead take a more "big deal" vacation for our one year anniversary. We are currently leaning toward a visit to a beautiful place in southern CA.
2. I really want to attend a Christian marriage retreat before babies come. We believe that a house need to be build on a strong foundation. We are thinking we will do one close to home sometime next year.
3. Pay off nearly all of our consumer debt. My car will be paid off by the time any said baby actually arrives.
4. Stay cash, go cash, nothing else but cash for ever and ever Amen! We are a Dave Ramsey family and have committed to not borrowing any money ever again except our house loan which we got an amazing, amazing deal on. Yes, this includes cars.
Regardless, we can't wait to have some babies up n' dis crib! We just want to be as prepared with our money as we can without dragging this out until we are millionaires.
However, recently we figure out that with my extra job stocking at A.C. Moore and continuing to be frugal we could get rid of a large chunk of our debt before baby comes. That idea got our hamsters running about the things we want to do before we have babies. Next thing you know, we were calling this a Season of Preparation with our money as well as our baby making.
Why do we want to have children so soon anyway?
First, we aren't as young as a lot of our friends were when they got married. Their life clock had more years on it for just hanging out. Our clock is already getting to 30yrs. I know that's pretty young, but it's already going to be a medical challenge for Nicole to have babies (see link above) and age will only make it harder.
More importantly, we want a large family. The thing is our definitions of "large" are a bit different. Nicole says four whereas large to me is in the 6 or 8 kid range. Take a deep breath ladies, I know I'm not the one having the babies! We have agreed to start with four and then reevaluate after. I'm feeling called to have many children to grow and train up for God and I know that Nicole is feeling the same way.
Our current plan:
1. We decided for budget reasons to take a less expensive honeymoon and instead take a more "big deal" vacation for our one year anniversary. We are currently leaning toward a visit to a beautiful place in southern CA.
2. I really want to attend a Christian marriage retreat before babies come. We believe that a house need to be build on a strong foundation. We are thinking we will do one close to home sometime next year.
3. Pay off nearly all of our consumer debt. My car will be paid off by the time any said baby actually arrives.
4. Stay cash, go cash, nothing else but cash for ever and ever Amen! We are a Dave Ramsey family and have committed to not borrowing any money ever again except our house loan which we got an amazing, amazing deal on. Yes, this includes cars.
Regardless, we can't wait to have some babies up n' dis crib! We just want to be as prepared with our money as we can without dragging this out until we are millionaires.
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