Movin' on up from Aug. to May!

Okay, so Nicole and I are pretty certain that we are going to be moving up the time frame for babymaking from August to May. This, of course, is due to our ever increasing desire to have babies! We are seriously interested and even more so after our newest nephew, Luca, was born some time this past October. (We got him the cutest onesies of a cat, a ghost and a pumpkin!)

With this whole talk of moving up the date of hiring a doc to get my wife knocked up, I came home today with a new found zeal for scrolling through the never ending list of sperm donors. We are planning to shell out the $60 to do a facial matching program with Fairfax Cryobank, which basically means that I need narrow down my picks to five or six donors. Then the staff will match my photos with adult photos of the donors to hopefully find one of the six that best looks like me (matches my facial features).

There are really only two things that I really want in my pick besides having some of my facial features: tall (probably bc I'm only 5'8 and I want him or her to grow-up to be able to see over the offense line) and medium skin tone of some sort (I have olive and I'm trying to counter Nicole looking like a ghost). I have narrowed down to 4 choices right now. . .although I might add more later.

Currently, I have:

Donor 4160: Swiss-English-Swedish-Norweg./German-Polish, 6'1", Med light skin tone with blue eyes and brown wavy hair

Donor 4164: German/German, 6'3", Med light skin tone with green eyes and blond curly hair.

Donor 2716: Danish-German/French Canadian, 5'11", Med skin tone with brown eyes and brown straight hair.

Donor 4100: English-Irish/Czech-English, 5'11", Med skin tone with hazel eyes and brown curly hair.



My first thought is that I don't have curly hair, but I would love to have a curly haired little baby. I don't know what that means or if it even means anything, but I did notice that all but one of those donors has hair or either the wavy or curly variety. This is not something I was after when I was going through the list picking my favs.

My other thought is although I don't remember which one it is now, one of my donor's father's father die of a brain tumor. Same as my father's father. I don't really understand it, but for some reason this is comforting to me. I suppose it makes me feel like we are using my genetic code or at least more so. On the other hand, is it wrong of me to potentially pick a donor with a family history of brain cancer? Part of me says "no, it's not" because there are so many reasons and ways one can get cancer now anyway that it probably doesn't really matter, but then again I have the option of choosing a genetic code that is less likely to result in cancer if I so decide. Maybe I'm thinking to hard about this. More than anything I'm pretty satisfied, happy I would say, with a donor pick that resembles some of my own family's health problem such as this brain tumor guy or the one I thought about picking who has anxiety (I think I cut him because he was too short anyway). After all, it doesn't really matter does it? God has a date and time lined up already anyway.

The moral is that I have narrowed down to four "favorites" and that we are moving the date of getting started with this whole adventure sooner because, well, we really can't freakin' wait!

No, I am not like you. Please stop laughing.

If you follow my blog you might have read the posting during which I chat about the things I do to protect my marriage.

One of the points I discuss in that blog is the practice I have committed to of limiting the times I am alone with a woman other than my wife. Recently, I have been challenged in this because my supervisors for both of my jobs are female. I have been laughed at, told that I won't be working if I can't be scheduled alone in the building with one woman and received a booklet full of strange looks.

First, I'm struggling with how one gracefully explains that out of respect for my wife I choose not to be alone with a single woman. (At work I am okay with being alone with a group of women.) Somehow every time I have said something it always comes out less graceful and put together then I imagined it would.

Secondly, these are the first times that I have ever been laughed at for my moral and faith based values. My first thoughts are "wow, painful" but recently I've been wondering what that says about my past values and the culture as a whole. Does one need to be laughed at or mocked by secular culture to have strong moral values? Does being laughed at by this culture mean that I actually have values beyond the basics of murder, etc? Clearly, not everyone commits to practices that protect his or her marriage like I have, but we also live in a time when divorce and infidelity are insanely high. Should I be proud of this laughter and criticism?

I have recently learned that I am going through a test of my commitments. I don't think that I will have to push back as much as I am now as often in the future, but I do think this is some sort of adjustment period for me. I was prepared to be different. I was prepared for it to be a struggle internally. I was prepared for the adjustment of having to pay more attention. However, I was not prepared for this commitment to become so public at work or for me to literally be laughed at.

I appreciate the challenge, God, and with You as my light I will follow.

Season of Preparation: Money Management

It's official, Nicole and I are dieing to have a baby! Seriously, little comments about "enjoy just being with each other" and "put it off as long as you can" will not help us. We are doomed for baby-dum soon. . .parenthood here we come!

However, recently we figure out that with my extra job stocking at A.C. Moore and continuing to be frugal we could get rid of a large chunk of our debt before baby comes. That idea got our hamsters running about the things we want to do before we have babies. Next thing you know, we were calling this a Season of Preparation with our money as well as our baby making.

Why do we want to have children so soon anyway?

First, we aren't as young as a lot of our friends were when they got married. Their life clock had more years on it for just hanging out. Our clock is already getting to 30yrs. I know that's pretty young, but it's already going to be a medical challenge for Nicole to have babies (see link above) and age will only make it harder.

More importantly, we want a large family. The thing is our definitions of "large" are a bit different. Nicole says four whereas large to me is in the 6 or 8 kid range. Take a deep breath ladies, I know I'm not the one having the babies! We have agreed to start with four and then reevaluate after. I'm feeling called to have many children to grow and train up for God and I know that Nicole is feeling the same way.


Our current plan:

1. We decided for budget reasons to take a less expensive honeymoon and instead take a more "big deal" vacation for our one year anniversary. We are currently leaning toward a visit to a beautiful place in southern CA.

2. I really want to attend a Christian marriage retreat before babies come. We believe that a house need to be build on a strong foundation. We are thinking we will do one close to home sometime next year.

3. Pay off nearly all of our consumer debt. My car will be paid off by the time any said baby actually arrives.

4. Stay cash, go cash, nothing else but cash for ever and ever Amen! We are a Dave Ramsey family and have committed to not borrowing any money ever again except our house loan which we got an amazing, amazing deal on. Yes, this includes cars.


Regardless, we can't wait to have some babies up n' dis crib! We just want to be as prepared with our money as we can without dragging this out until we are millionaires.

Simple Things You Can Do Today To Protect Your Children (Part 3 in a series)

Look more carefully at your child's car seat.


I'm not talking about the actual safety factors of your children's car seats, although that is clearly very important. I'm instead asking you to look at the car seat's safety beyond that of the car.

I'm pretty sure we are all aware of how the car seat protects children in an accident. This is what they are for, but what happens after an accident is just as important as what happens during the accident.

EMT personnel remove your child, while still in the car seat, from the vehicle involved in an accident.

This is for the protection of your child but also gives you an opportunity to protect your child.

If you (or the driver) was injured or even killed in an accident would your child be able to give important information to the emergency personnel? Could they say his or her name clearly? What about the address, emergency contact information or, more importantly, if they are allergic to any medications? Of course not and I'm not suggesting that you expect your child to do so. I am suggesting we think of the car seat as a communication device.

If you or the driver are ever hurt in an accident you can protect your children by giving the EMT personnel and law enforcement important information about your child right on the back of the car seat. This information could possibly save your child's life if they were hurt, but also it limits the time the child needs to be outside of the care of people you know and trust.

Take two note cards and write the following information on it:

- Child's full name
- Emergency contact information of at least two people (at least one local person). Make sure to include addresses and home and cellphone numbers labeling them.
- Important medical information such as allergies, local doctors, and current medications.
- Things that you think might help the person who will be taking care of your children until your emergency contacts can get there. Example: Nicknames of the child, talking points (even if your child can't speak) such as favorite pet's names, and the child's favorite type of animal (often teddy bears are given to kids during these times and if the police know that your child loves cats they might be able to find a stuffed one).

Place both cards in an envelope labeled "Emergency Contact Information" and tape it to the back of the child's car seat or underneath for boaster seats. Why two cards? Why not just tape the information to the car seat? Because this allows two people to have the information without things getting mixed up in the rewriting. Emergency personnel can have one and so can the person looking for your child's emergency contact.

If you think your child will be fine without this information and they still can't legally ride without a boaster or car seat, you need to do it anyway.

This information should be up-date each time your child out grows a car seat or on your child's birthday.

Each car seat, each car. Information is everything.

6 feet tall with a throwin' arm

Nicole and I had our consult with the infertility clinic yesterday. It actually went quite well. We learned about what types of meds and procedures the doctors recommend based on our situation. We also learned that our health insurance is amazing. In fact, everything should be 100% covered. Even co-pays for the visits. The only thing we will have to pay for at all is our co-pay for the meds and our deductible for the 6 weeks of care that the clinic requires after we are pregnant. The insurance doesn't consider that care part of the infertility treatments, so it falls into out 80/20 coverage. We are totally fine with that because it won't be that expensive anyway. More importantly, we could totally fall into the category of couples who have to pay everything out of pocket. There still might be issues with the insurance company, but more than likely there won't be. Thank God for good NY State health insurance.

Nicole and I talked before we got married about me not being able to have children and the different ways I could feel like I am apart of this whole baby making thing. I spent sometime on men's infertility support websites as, to be honest, I felt a loss on not being able to have biological children. I think it's important to allow oneself to feel that sense of loss even if having children isn't really about my DNA. I know that our children will be our children either way and that I will be their father. The good news is that sense of loss didn't last long. As soon as I started thinking about finding the right sperm donor, I started thinking about it as "shopping" for the characteristics that will best benefit my children. Let's be honest: I got excited because I could look for a 6ft tall guy with a good throwing arm and quick feet. The makings of a great Sooner football quarterback! Suddenly, I was able to see that this whole sperm donor thing wasn't a loss, but a gain. With it I will be able to have children I can teach about God and love until their eyes pop out; that in the grand scheme of things who I am as a father will benefit them more then what's in my DNA.

Nicole and I have decided that I get to pick the donor. I'll review my finial selections with her, but it's my decision. I'm glad for that. It gives me a part in this journey that's actually mine. I appreciate that Nicole understands that and she doesn't go looking for donors that she likes. She hasn't recommended one and I love her for that. She understands that I want to be involved in making a baby and this is how I get to be. I look through options and talk to her about them. We chat and discuss, but we know this is my choice. I love that.

We are going to go with the facial matching program. I narrow down a few choices and then hand over several photos of myself which then get matched to adult photos of the donors. This clearly gives me a better chance at the kids looks somewhat like me. But when it comes down to it looks don't really matter. My heart is big enough to allow for anything.

A Season of Preparation

I've been debating when I was going to start talking about our journey of baby making on this blog, which is one of the major reasons it's been so quite around here lately. I think that, in all honesty, it's really the only topic that's been on my mind to write about, but also the one that I was having a tough time putting on "paper". However, I think that there must be people out there somewhere who can benefit from our journey, but more importantly I think writing about everything will end-up being some sort of therapy for me.

To start having children isn't going to be very easy for Nicole and I. I am sterile, which totally makes me think of a cow for some reason so I prefer the term infertile although that opens doors for people to make all types of suggestions about surgeries and other "projects" that might "fix" me. Sterile just kinda says, "Step out you don't get it. This infertile thing isn't changing".

On top of that, Nicole has an autoimmune blood-clotting disease that is called Antiphospholipid syndrome (APS) which, among many of the issues attached to the disease, a pregnancy falls into the high-risk category. The basic idea is that because the capillaries are so small between the placenta and the mother that having this blood clotting disease quite drastically raises the chances for miscarriages and stillbirths. Nicole will have to go on shots to help prevent these types of clots. APS also makes it more difficult to get pregnant at least for some.

We are planning on trying to have children about one year from now, but because things aren't going to be so easy and we have to worry so much more about the health and wellbeing of both Nicole and our baby we have already started the process of seeing specialists.

This past Wednesday we met with a doctor who specializes in high-risk pregnancies. It was just a consult to help get us ready for all the steps ahead. We found out that 75% of women who that APS either see no changes in their symptoms or their symptoms are better when they are pregnant. There is no way of telling who will fall into that 75% though. The time during the pregnancy as well as the two weeks after raises the chances of Nicole having blood clots anywhere in her body including her brain, which are stokes. She has had these before, but lucky has no long-term effects.

It kinda took my breath away to hear the doctor say that there was a substantial risk of stillbirths 2nd tri-semester all the way through birth. He literately said the word stillbirth a good eight time during a short part of the session. The good news, besides the percentage mentioned above, is that Nicole already knows she has this disease (many women find out after several miscarriages) which means that doctors have a plan. There will be 80mg of aspirin for the first tri-semester and then we'll add daily shots off anti-clogging meds.

Nicole recently had an appointment with her OBGYN and found out that because she as APS she can kiss any epidural goodbye as well as going into birth naturally. She will have to be induced because she'll have to be off the shots for at least two days before going into labor so she doesn't bleed to death. The doctors will have to walk the fine line between bleeding too much and losing Nicole and clotting too much and losing the baby.

Maybe this all seems a little dramatic, but I think the first appointment always makes things feel a little more real. My real is just currently a little more medical than some others.

In a week or so, we have an appointment with the infertility center. Good times.

Worms! Worms! Worms!

It's official we bought worms today!! These aren't just any type of worms they are made for composting! Nicole and I are totally thrilled!

As part of our new eco-living plan, I talked last week about our decision to cut down on the amount of trash we make because we have to take our own trash, but most importantly because we want to make less of an impact on the earth. You can read that posting by clicking here. Worm composting (vermicomposting) cuts down on the amount of food and paper waste we throw way.

Today we ordered a pound of worms. Wait, Chris, that sounds like a lot of freakin' worms! How many is a pound exactly? Well, I can tell you that I'm not going to count them all, but on average a pound of worms is about 1000 worms! Think about it we are getting 1000 new family members. What other way can you do that without being the crazy family on the block? 1000 cats? 1000 dogs? I think one would get arrested. 1000 worms and we help save the world!

One pound of worms can consume about 1/2 pound of food a day. This means that we are going to need to eat more fruits and veggies to just feed the worms, which is rather nice seeing that we should be doing that anyway.

We originally decided to purchase a stacked worm bin that allow the worms to work their little way up through stacked bins to get to fresh food. This method is suppose to be much easier to harvest the compost because the worms are already on to another bin. I will probably need to harvest every three months or so.

Instead of the stack bin option, we have decided at least for now to go with the DIY bin. This is basically a plastic tub with air vents installed on the side and a spigot installed at the bottom for the "water" to drain out.

I'll keep everyone posted on the building of the bin and on the worms when they get here. Any thoughts on names??

Going Green - Part 2: Rethinking Trash

Every year, the United States generates approximately 230 million tons of "trash"--about 4.6 pounds per person per day. Less than one-quarter of it is recycled; the rest is incinerated or buried in landfills.


Nicole and I live one mile from the town line. Our town line literately touches the line of the town of Auburn. This means that our mailing address is Auburn, but we "live" in Owasco. Aurbun pays more taxes. Owasco doesn't have trash or recycling pick-up. Less taxes yes, but we either need to take our trash to the recycling center for $2.25 a bag (our recycling efforts are free there) or pay to have a company come out to get our trash and recycling.

Through this finding, we have decided to green our trash (cut back on the amount we make by quite a bit).


How are we doing this?

First, we are recycling more. A lot more. We previously recycled the basic four - paper, plastic, tin and glass, but now we are rethinking everything that goes into the trash. If there is any chance it can be recycled or reused, we are doing it.

We are also starting not one, but two composting piles. The first is for yard waste, latex (yes, condoms can be put in the compost), old (shredded) clothing that can't be reused, and other similar items. The second is a worm composting bin otherwise know as vermicomposting which uses worms to break down food waste, shredded mail and paper. Worms make beautiful castings (read poo) that are great for mixing in with the soil in gardens. I decided to get a worm bin after I spent some quantity time getting up close and personal with the composting of others food waste. No worm method can be so much more smelly!

The last major thing we are doing as we rethink our trash amount is paying attention to what we buy. Does the item we are purchasing come in plastic that we can't recycle (because no place around here takes it)? Is there an option to purchase the item in bulk as a means to at least cut down on the trash? We are trying very hard to stay way from non-recyclable packaging and other things that we have to throw away. For example, when we were shopping yesterday for our reunion vacation we decided not to get the individually packaged tea to-go packs (as seen here) because each package is plastic which we can't recycle. Instead we opted to get a 96 serving Gatorade container that is larger, but once used can be reused either in our house or we will donate to the Science Center in Ithaca for their craft department.



Worm introduction is coming soon! Think green until then!

Simple Things You Can Do Today To Protect Your Children (Part 1 in a series)

Clearly, there are things that most people know about when it comes to protecting children like always buckle them up - in the backseat, always keep some sort of eye on them etc, but there are lesser known, lesser used thing that can protect your children.

This is the first part in a series on simple things you can do today to protect your children.


1. Get a family password

I remember our family having one when I was in elementary school and my parents were still in the military. I clearly and confidently told the soldier that was instructed by one of my parents to pick up my brother and me from school that we weren't going if he didn't have the password. He did; we climbed in the backseat.

A family password is pretty much what is sounds like. A word, preferably a phrase, that only the family knows and only uses when they need it to convey safety. For example, if a Mom tells her son that she will pick him up after soccer practice, but then plans change for whatever reason and she is no longer able to pick him up (such as a car accident). She then can send someone with the password to pick-up her child. The password will convey to the son that this pick-up person is safe and part of the new plan.

There are important points to this idea:

- Passwords aren't a good use for your messed up household planning. They should only be used in an emergency, not because your dentist appointment ran late.

- Phrases are better than single words for the same reason that internet passwords often require punctuation. Phrases are harder to guess.

- Along those lines passwords are better when they don't make sense in normal conversation. For example, green airplane is a better password than big airplane and hairy lamppost is better than tall tree. Think of things that are easy for your children to remember. Better yet ask them for their help coming up with one. It's likely they will remember the password better that way.

- If it's used once it's probably still safe. Used twice and it should be changed.

- Some people are automatically safe, meaning they don't need the password. I recently talked to a friend about this idea and she told me that they discussed with their kiddo the list of people who aren't required to have the password to pick him up for example. The parents trust these people enough that it doesn't matter.

- The most important point besides teaching your children that it's a secret is to teach them that even if they know the person if the person isn't on the safe list they must have the password. For example, I know my friend's kids, but since I am not on their family safe list if I go pick the children up unexpectedly I must have the password. My friend's son knows this. kids tend to think that because they know someone that that means the person is safe so it's very important that we as parents remember to teach our child that even the coolest of people isn't always the safest and needs the family password to change the plans.


Have a family meeting, get a password and protect your children.

Come back in the near future for more on this series!

The $25 Rule

80% of married couples spend money their spouse does not know about and almost 18.5% of those married people have credit cards their spouse does not know about. - CESI

You know, I can completely believe this. We live in a culture today that doesn't take marriage to mean "two become one", but instead "what's mine is mine, thanks for sharing the house." I think it's a bit sad to say the least. I don't really care, barring some situations, how your household runs, but I do know that money issues are one of the top reasons for divorce in this country.

Nicole and I have a $25 rule, which basically means that neither one of us can spend more than $25 without consulting the other. Obviously, this isn't true about the bills. We talk about our monthly bills nearly every week without fail. The $25 rule might seem crazy low to some of you, to others the whole idea of having a limit on the amount of money we spend seems too controlling. The point is that we are poor, homeowner newlyweds who are trying to get rid of all of our debt including cars and student loans as fast as we can. If Nicole or I went around spending more than $25 without talking about it first, bills wouldn't get paid, savings wouldn't get handled etc. We use each other as a type of checks and balances. For example, Nicole recently (nicely) vetoed the beautiful, rusty, vintage tandem bike I found on craigslist. She was all about looking at it until I told her it cost $150. She gently let me know that $150 was way too much for a bike at this point in our lives. I appreciate her.

This money rule is important for more than just the fact we are trying to be smart with our money. Money can get people into all types of trouble which means if I have to talk about what I'm doing with my money I'm less likely to do something crazy with it like gamble away our mortgage or gas money. So, besides keeping each one of us out of trouble, talking about our money, well, keeps us talking. I'm not saying that we run out of things to say (I'm too much of a talker for that!), but instead I mean that this rule makes sure we keep talking about the important household things and get in the habit of doing so. I don't want to slip into the idea that she runs that part of our life and I run this part without some conversation. Don't get me wrong we both have our "specialties" in our household and that works really well, but we both still talk about everything. For example, please do not ask me to find the pots and pans in our kitchen. You will have just as much luck as I will. Trust me. My lady, and I am blessed to have her, willingly takes care of all the cooking. All of it. She likes it that way and so do I. On the other hand, don't ask Nicole if her cute green shirt has been washed. She won't know. I do the laundry, but we still make sure to discuss and have input in both of those.

I like our money rule. Nicole and I tend to shop together when we do mostly because we carpool (and happen to enjoy each other's company), but it has helped us and more importantly it's getting us into the habit of communication outside of the normal gushy newlywed stuff.

4 Ways I Protect My Marriage

I recently learned that someone we know is going to be a father. Again. This time because he cheated on his wife. Apparently, this person has spent his entire marriage cheating on his wife. How is it that a person can do that to someone else? I don't want to hear that it's in a man's blood to cheat. . .to populate the world. First of all, women cheat on their spouses too. Second of all, I understand that monogamy isn't for everyone, but my understanding ends when one gets married and decides to continue being with others without having a discussion about it with his or her spouse first.


Nicole and I have been married for 40 days today. I get that we still fall into the "honeymoon" stage which comes with the belief that everything is always going to be prefect. Of course, it's not and if you know anything about Nicole and I, you know that we are major planners. We've already starting coming up with a plan for maintaining our marriage. I think it's very important to come up with a marriage plan, a way to protect our box.

What are going to be my individual boundaries? Have I prepared myself by knowing and understanding ways that men typically get themselves into trouble? Have I come up with a plan to both monitor my behavior and manage possible issues? The answer is yes I have thought of these issues and while I am still growing in this area, in my marriage; in my self I have come up with a plan.


1. Check My Eyes

About 4 months ago, I started paying much more attention to what I allowed myself to see. Men are more often then not more visual then women. This means that what I see will stay with me longer and affect me more. If I see women dressed on the sexy side then those images are more likely to find themselves staying with me when I should be thinking of my wife. This idea goes well beyond T.V. shows and movies because everything that I see goes into my brain for mental images. I have never been one to creep with my eyes, but I think that what I see today can come back to me in my dreams or down the road when we are having a rough spot.

To keep this from happening, I have put into practice some personal rules that others might think are a little crazy. I'd rather be laughed at now and laugh about it at my 50 yr anniversary party.

- I divert my eyes when I see a women dressed sexy, doing something sexual or the like. I may have seen her, but I don't allow myself to dwell on her or the image afterward. I look at something else. Anything else as long as it's not something of the same category.

- When I'm watching T.V. or a movie I close my eyes during sex scenes and when women are dressed sexy. I also use the "hand over the screen" for scenes that I can get away with. I like to watch the movie, but I prefer to edit out all the trouble spots.


2. Check My Ears

I like a variety of music including some hip-hop and R&B. I have decided that if the music I'm listening to is making any type of sexual sounds that are a distraction that I change the music. Those types of sounds made by the singers aren't going to help me keep my mind on my wife.

I also make sure that in my conversations with others and conversation I listen to that I stay away from sexually focused jokes or conversation that is not helpful. By helpful I mean is the conversation or podcast pointing me in the direction of a better marriage or a direction that might one day pull me from my wife?


3. Check My Location

This is going to sound like the craziest idea, but I think it's the smartest: I protect appearances. Wait, Chris, are you saying that you care what other people think of you? Don't you know that people are going to think what they think and it's not always the truth? Well, yes I do know that, but that's also my point. My reputation as a married man who is faithful to his wife is important. This means that I practice to the best of my ability not allowing myself to be in situations that others can misinterpret as I am being unfaithful to my wife. It matters very little if the truth is that I'm not doing anything to harm my marriage if I allow myself to be in places that look as though I am harming my marriage. Why does this make sense? The basic idea is that if I can be perceived doing something to harm my marriage then something CAN possibly happen in that situation. It works as a checks and balances. I don't want people to think I'm cheating on my wife, so I stay out of situations that I could cheat on my wife.

Ways I do this:

- I work very hard at not being alone with women. There is no real need for me to be shopping, dining or the like with a women who is not my family without others being with me.

- I will out of respect for my wife ask to have a male accompany me or have open doors during interviews and meetings with females.

- I limit situations when I am in spaces alone with women to elevators, emergency car rides (after I talk to my wife if possible), and very few other places unless I am either with my wife or with another male.

- I do not allow a group of women to be a situation that feels safe. If I'm hanging out with several women, it doesn't mean that I'm in a situation that allows others can view me as being faithful. Being with my wife when I'm with a group of people is the safe option.


4. Open Conversation

One of my best lines of defense is my openness with my wife. I make sure to talk to her about my feelings, which I just happen to be good at (I've practiced a lot). I think it's very important that she knows when I'm feeling weak, when someone might be an issue or when I need her support as well as what I need in the relationship. She helps keep me in check for example by covering the screen, but not in an ownership way. She is just on board with protecting our marriage and I appreciate and love her for that.


There are other ways, I am sure, that I use to protect my marriage, but these are my top guiding methods for this topic. I recently heard of another one that I will start incorporating even though I naturally do it already. No flirting with anyone other than my wife.


I am very blessed to be with Nicole. She releases so much happiness from within me. I don't want to do anything to mess up what we have going.

The Chronicles of The Beast

I have dreamed about this moment.

Each time I heard the snap of my clippers words of this log flowed through me. Tonight I sit and chronicle my date with destiny.

The day I met The Beast.

My orders would prove to be simple. "She does not need a haircut. She is to be exterminated." My task not so.

She stood twice my height. Her width was that of large shed. She motioned for me. Begged me, dared me to take her on. I stood in my crisp new armor of tight twill sweating from the abnormal heat and high humidity. I was armed with a machete I would hardly use and a set of clippers that would end her.

The Beast's outer core was lush green. Her thick branches draped over like curtains. Curtains awaiting me. Waiting to taste my blood, the blood she has yet to have.

I only knew to start at the beginning. The end no where close to my mind. I clipped away and pieces of her fell. She would not go lightly. I pulled the freshly clipped pieces from her interwoven core. The Beast fought me back. Nearly I went into the pond twice. I exited her dismantle only a few times. I never let her hear even a whisper of my exhaustion; my concern of pain.

Once I broke in, her deep core smelled of a damp morning at summer camp. Cool, wet; hidden from the rest of the world. I swore to myself with every motion that I would be her end. That my task would be to free the area of her control.

I slipped several times at the cliff edge that she had aligned herself with for so many years. She awaited my mistakes however small they might be. I gave her few to enjoy. The Beast tricked me into believing my steps were sure and steady. It was as though her roots had summoned the rocked into believing my missteps would be to their benefit. I did not allow her the slight satisfaction of hearing me cry out when I nearly fell into her core. She deserved little.


She has yet to taste my blood in victory. There are many battles yet to go, but this war will be mine. I will conquer The Beast!

Over the last two days, I have rocked it as a husband!

One day in the future (as in next summer) my wife would like to have a garden path that looks like this:





Except that we plan to have it weave between boxed gardens of veggies and flowers. To achieve the look, we needed rocks and quite a few of them seeing the our yard is rather large and we plan to have huge garden area down both sides.

I am a frugal husband, which means that I can't pass up good deals over convenience. So, when Ben, who's property I manage currently, told me that he was planning on paying me to move a large stack of wonderfully useful rocks into the woods, I decided free rocks + future path = score!

I didn't realize that the rock pile was nearly as large as it was. The pile was apparently just thrown into fairly concise pile. The rock had been taken out of cabin, so it was covered in floor sealant. This meant that to have pretty rocks for the future path I needed to move the rocks from the pile to the metal, power wash each one, move them to the truck and once we had a load full drive the truck an hour North to our house, unload them and stack them nicely behind our garage.

Tired does not begin to explain how I feel right now. My back is sore and I even lifted with my legs.

I wish I had taken photos of the load in the truck because the stacked photos make it seem like there weren't that many. I loaded at least five wheelbarrows full though.

I am looking forward to creating the path and enjoying the garden after all is done.

However, I am not looking forward to moving these rock again!





The total pile with the handy (read lifesaver) wheelbarrow.






Up-close and personal with the stack.







I didn't want you to think I was kidding about the weight. This is one rock. One heavy rock.

Hang on to your garden tools! The Martin's go green. . .very green! (Part 1)

We have decided to grab the eco-living by the horns!

First, let me say that Nicole and I have always had an interest in growing our own food (and flowers) as well as being at least some what eco-friendly. This basically means that our thoughts and actions focused on recycling, reusing and growing some veggies for nightly salads.

However, as soon as we moved into our new home, which so excitedly came with nearly a quarter of an acre of land, we have dove into thoughts and plans about becoming more eco-focused and self-sufficient.

Our first plan, which can't actually be started until next spring (which is good bc we need time to get this all organized!) is to break up the back yard into four different parts. Two sides will be very large gardens, the middle will be a yard (mostly for the dogs to run and play in) and the back section will be for a future children's play area. We are fortunate that our backyard doesn't have any trees except for the two that are actually on the neighbor's property that shade just enough of our property to make nice places to sit. Clearly, the great news about no trees is that plants like sun. No trees equals more sun. We, of course, plan to plant trees (plum, apple, peach and pear), but at this point the yard is a clean slate.

A very small list of the future garden plants:
- Tomatoes, carrots, spinach, beats, beans, onions, potatoes, strawberries, blackberries, raspberries, corn, etc. etc.

We also plan to grow our own Luffa sponges (yes, they are actually a plant!) and bamboo for our kids to play in, as a screen from our noisy neighbors and for garden stakes.

I've started collecting the materials for rain collection as well. We have a large roof here and a wonderful place to put three or four rain barrels. I intend to collect for use in the gardens, washing the cars and other outdoor activities. With a garden as large as we are after, we should save a lot of city water by collecting rain.

These parts of our new eco-friendly lifestyle are just beginning of our new plan (next on the list: trash reduction!)which means that there are many more posts to come referencing this topic.

Stay tuned and stay focused!

And Here Comes Home Ownership!

Well, we've officially moved into our new house which is a major upgrade from the last place we rented. First, obviously we own it which means that I can do whatever I want to the lawn, but also we no longer live in Ithaca, NY. I'm thrilled about this because Ithaca has a feel that while great really isn't our cup of tea. Auburn, NY, however, has the feel we are looking for - green friendly, but not green crazy, neighborly; small town feel with the "bigger" aspect just moments away. Additionally, we now live a short bike ride from one of the finger lakes, on a street that doesn't connect to a major road of any kind so the traffic is really low (perfect for kiddos on bikes), a stones throw from one of the best elementary schools in the area which means a wonderful park, b-ball court etc. and the neighborhood is old enough to have full grown trees - which gives it that super comfy feel.

Secondly, this new place is 1300 sq ft vs 800 of the last. This one has 3 bedrooms with two more that don't have closets, plus a full (non-scary) basement whereas the other house had 2 bedrooms (one up-stairs), a loft and only one closet. Yes, you read that right. Women may need more closet space, but men who are married need closet space just for the peace of the lady of the house having closets.

I have about two tons of things I want to do to this house and that's before the major remodel that we want to do. We'll be finishing the attic space, adding stairs, moving a set, adding two bathrooms and a whole new kitchen. That's not for a while though. The attic will turn into two 12x12 bedrooms for our kids plus they'll get their own bathroom upstairs and sitting area. I'm exciting about all the changes for the future, but right now I'm lavishing in the fact we have our own backyard that's perfect for gardens and playing with the dogs that's attached to our own house.

Love.

Sounds of Prayer

I'm religious. In fact, I'm very religious in the God is my Father and I love talking to Him and worshiping Him kind of way. Part of my thing besides my strong ability to have strong faith is my continuous need and desire to pray or communicate with my Father daily. I talk to Him A LOT and by that I mean I think I fall pretty close to the prayer warrior line. My only thing is I don't do "out loud" praying or reading very well. I can do it and I do sometimes, but I don't seem to like it as much as in my head prayer. I don't think that says much about my spiritual life or anything like that, but I do admit that it makes it more difficult to pray and do Bible study with Nicole, which I would like to be doing more often.

We purchased a daily devotional for reading before we go to bed every night, which we do most nights, but this only consists of me reading the daily passages and only sometimes praying out loud. I want to figure out how to pray out loud more before we have kids. We both want to raise our children with prayer and communication with God being both something we do as a family and individually. This means that I need to get use to not only being seen praying, but using my vocal cords to make it happen more often.

I know that more is caught, then taught when it comes to children and I really believe that to be true. This means that I welcome my children catching me praying and I know that they will, but I also need to pray to be more willing to use my voice in prayer more often so my children can catch what I am saying in our prayers too.